


Eventually

by DrChickenSlinger



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 20:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20395696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrChickenSlinger/pseuds/DrChickenSlinger
Summary: Lee marries someone else. Gaara has to learn the hard lesson of “eventually.”





	Eventually

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! So, I wrote this forever ago and wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it. But! I wanted to get it out of my wips, haha! Thank you to ManaBanana for the feedback on this one :) their fics are lovely! Go check them out!!

Gaara held a glass of sake in his hand, swirling it gently. “I used to have romantic feelings for you, you know.” He sighed, taking another drink of the clear liquid.

“You did?” Lee asked, his voice softer than Gaara had ever heard. Lee laughed gently, not mocking him. He looked at the glass of water in front of him, tracing the condensation down its side with a bandaged finger. His eyebrows scrunched together. “You never told me. Why?”

“There never seemed to be an appropriate moment. The only times we were together, our lives were in danger. When the war happened, I wrote a letter to you, confessing my feelings. The council was instructed to give it to you, should I have died in battle.” Gaara chuckled, low and sad. “I’m glad it never happened, though. What good is a dead man’s feelings if he was never brave enough to confess them when he was alive?”

Lee swallowed, unsure of how to redirect the awkward tension that had built between the two of them. Gaara had asked Lee to get a drink with him to celebrate Lee’s marriage. He hadn’t been able to make it to Konoha when the wedding was taking place, but he still wanted to celebrate with his friend. But, why would Gaara confess now? Now that Lee was happily married and they had both taken different paths in life? Lee looked at Gaara and noticed there was a light pink dusting his cheeks from all of the sake he had consumed. Perhaps that was why.

“Well, you know, I--”

Gaara’s eyes flashed up to meet Lee’s.

Lee sighed, and began again. “I used to have feelings for you, too, Gaara.” It no longer mattered, but Lee didn’t feel right keeping this from his friend. He deserved the truth.

Gaara’s brow creased as his eyes searched all over Lee’s face for any indication he was mocking him or lying. When he didn’t find it there, he looked down, his heart break evident in his face. Lee’s stomach twisted, knowing that he was the cause.

“Why--Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, his normally deep voice even deeper with emotion.

Lee ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose that, as you said, there was never a proper moment. I also never felt that I would amount to someone worthy of dating the Kazekage. After realizing that, I gave up on love entirely. But, that is when I met Kotone. And I am… happy, Gaara. I am so sorry. I hope that this will not affect our friendship. I love both her and you, but in different ways.”

Lee noticed how Gaara flinched at the way he said that he loved him. But he truly did. Perhaps not in the same way he used to. There were no more fantasies about them spending their passionate youth together. Lee had Kotone for that, now. But he still loved and cared for Gaara regardless. 

Gaara shook his head, his brow still furrowed. “Me not being worthy of you? That’s not even--”

He cut himself off, draining his glass of alcohol. He set it back on the table, and closed his eyes momentarily. When he opened them, all prior emotion had left them and his usual unreadable stare took its place. But Lee was always able to see past that stare. He had hurt his friend deeply.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I suppose it wasn’t meant to be. I’m glad you’re happy, Lee, and I cherish our friendship as well. Please know that Suna’s gates are always open to you, or your family, for any reason. We would be honored to have you.”

Lee nodded, his lips pressed in a firm line. “Thank you, Gaara. My house is always open to you as well. I know nothing I would be able to provide would be as austere as what you are used to, but I would do my best to make it very comfortable for you.”

Gaara smiled and nodded at Lee. He smiled back, glad that some of the tension had dissipated. But, Lee knew that things would never be the same between them. They would remain good friends, but not in the same way they had been before. 

Gaara glanced down at Lee’s water. It sat untouched, the ice completely melted. He dropped more coins than were necessary on the table, then stood.

“I suppose I should take you back to your wife now.”

Lee stood. “I suppose so.” Lee, still in shock, didn’t argue with Gaara about who was paying. They walked silently down the streets of Konoha together, making their way to the small compound that Kotone’s clan had once resided in. They stood a foot apart, not touching. Normally when they walked together, their arms would brush or a gentle hand would be placed on a shoulder. But not now. Not anymore.

They neared the center of the compound and Lee stopped to turn and look at Gaara. “I would understand if you do not wish to, but I would really like you to meet Kotone.” He paused, looking at his house as his eyes softened. “I have told her a lot about you. But, please, do not feel pressured either way. I do not want you to feel uncomfortable.” 

Gaara paused, staring deeply into Lee’s eyes. He nodded once, then gestured for Lee to lead him into his house. Lee smiled at him softly, then walked up the stairs, unlocking the door and stepping back to allow Gaara inside. Their house was simple, but comfortable. The entry way connected to both the living room and the kitchen. Looking in, Gaara could see a vase full of fresh flowers on the counter. Just beyond that, a woman, only slightly shorter than Lee, stood with her back to them. Light music could be heard as Kotone plucked at the strings of her small harp. Gaara looked up at Lee who smiled at him reassuringly.

“Kotone, we have a visitor!” he called, his eyes lighting up as he spoke of his wife. The harp music stopped abruptly, and she turned, gasping as she realized that the Kazekage was in her house.

“Kazekage-sama!” she said, rushing over to where they stood. She bowed deeply, her long, black braid flopping over her shoulder. “I am so sorry for the state of our house. And for my husband’s casualness.” She rose, poking Lee in the side with a stern look on her face. “I do hope you will make yourself comfortable while you are here.”

Gaara took her hand lightly in both of his. Lee’s heart felt like it was being strangled. “Please, Kotone, call me Gaara. When I am here, it is as Lee’s friend. Thank you for your hospitality. That music was beautiful. Lee never mentioned you were a musician.”

“Oh, my apologies!” Lee said, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Yes, Kotone is a wonderful musician, and an even stronger kunoichi! Aren’t you, flower?”

Kotone laughed. “I guess you could say that! My clan was well known for their musical jutsu. I wasn’t the strongest, but I suppose I am now, seeing as I’m the only one left.”

A sad expression flashed across Lee’s face. He had never known Kotone’s clan, they having been killed during the war. They had met after, when Lee had been instructed to help rebuild the village. Kotone’s compound was small and had been skipped over by everyone else. But Lee found it one day, led there by the sound of somber harp music. He had found Kotone sitting in the ruins, silent tears falling down her face as her fingers bled. She had been playing for days, only stopping when she had passed out from exhaustion. She was worried that if she stopped, her clan would be forgotten. But Lee had found her, had bandaged her cut fingers, and made sure she ate. He cleared out what had previously been her house, opening two gates to complete it as quickly as possible. Once it was clear, he laid her down to sleep. Not wanting to be left alone, she asked Lee to hold her, though they had met only hours previous. Lee had obliged, reasoning that it was his duty as a shinobi to comfort those affected by the war. He had to admit, it was nice to hold someone as he slept. His nights had been lonely his entire life, but even more so once the memories of the war, and Neji’s death, plagued him every time he closed his eyes. 

From then on, he had spent almost every day he could with Kotone, writing to her when either of them were on missions. He learned about her harp playing, how she could cast a genjutsu for miles, paralyzing her enemies then finishing the job with her harp strings. She had learned of how dedicated he was, how he had become a successful shinobi though he was only able to do taijutsu. He was respected by his peers, the hokage, and many foreign leaders. They respected each other as shinobi, and eventually, as partners. When Lee had proposed, it was the easiest decision Kotone had ever made. They were married just months later.

Lee pulled himself out of his thoughts and kissed his wife’s head. He noticed how Gaara looked away and blushed, embarrassed at his lack of self awareness. 

“I have overstayed my welcome. Kotone, it was lovely to meet you. Thank you for taking care of Lee. He is a… good friend. Thank you for spending the evening with me, Lee.”

Gaara bowed to each of them and turned to the door. Lee let go of Kotone and reached his hand out to Gaara. “Would you like me to walk you back to your residence?

Gaara shook his head, continuing to step out the door. “Thank you, but I have my anbu to escort me.” He turned slightly, smiling at Lee sadly. “I wouldn’t want to disrupt the newly weds any longer.” He stepped out the door, shutting it behind him without another word. Kotone slipped her arms around Lee’s waist, pulling herself into his side. 

“He’s so young to be a kage. I was expecting someone different. Someone more… aged, I suppose.”

Lee gave a breathy laugh. “Gaara is wise beyond his years. You just have to look past his baby face.”

Kotone pressed her cheek into Lee’s shoulder. “Will you braid my hair again, Lee?”

He turned to look at her, cupping her cheek in his hand. “Of course, flower.”

He kissed her softly, then pulled her into their bedroom, loosening her hair with his scarred fingers. She played the harp as he worked through her strands, years of braiding his own long hair when he was younger attributing to his muscle memory as he made quick work of her soft plaits. As he was about to tie her hair up at the end, she stopped playing.

“Didn’t you say you used to have a crush on Gaara?”

Lee felt like he was plunged into an ice bath. What a weird night it had been. “Yes, I did, when we were younger. But, that does not matter anymore, as I am happily married to you.”

Kotone hummed and continued to play. “I can see why you did, though. He has a kindness in his eyes. He tries to hide it, but it shines through.”

Lee said nothing and continued to braid. 

As the months passed, Lee continued to write letters to Gaara when time allowed him to. He would tell him about the village, how his plants were doing, and his latest missions. He would ask Gaara about his siblings, whether he had started courting anyone, and his plants. Gaara would reciprocate, asking about Kotone, telling him funny things that were said during council meetings, and even made plans to visit with him the next time he was in Konoha. When Lee sent him a letter announcing that Kotone was pregnant, Gaara was happy for him, sending a small present in congratulations. Lee invited Gaara to visit after the baby was born. Conveniently, he would need to meet with the Hokage to discuss budgets around that time, and scheduled it near Kotone’s due date. He made it clear to Lee that though he used to have feelings for him, he would never allow those feelings to get in the way of his support and happiness for Lee. Lee said that he felt the same way, and was glad that their friendship had remained. 

Everything seemed well aligned in Lee’s life. He was regularly going on missions, earning him a handsome salary. He had a loving wife and a baby on the way. He had loving, supportive friends, and their nations were experiencing a time of peace. Lee was sure that nothing could go wrong. 

And how he wished he had been correct. 

Nine months later, he lay in a hospital bed next to his pale wife, holding their new son. Kotone’s breathing was shallow as her blank eyes slipped between consciousness. 

She was dying. 

Lee knew this and knew that nothing could be done to save her. There had been complications during their son’s birth, ones that he hadn’t been coherent enough to understand. He had been crying for hours and knew he wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon. They lay there together, enjoying the only minutes they would have as a family. 

“Lee,” Kotone rasped, her eyes suddenly wide open. “Lee, please hold me closer. I want to be near you and the baby. Lee, I don’t want to die, I want to stay here with you.”

She began to cry, her already dehydrated body ridding itself of precious fluids. 

“Kotone, it will be okay, I promise, it is going to be just fine,” Lee sobbed, pulling her closer and kissing her head over and over again.

“No, it’s not, Lee. I’m dying, and there’s nothing we can do about it. You saved me from my loneliness, and I’m dooming you to the same fate I would have held. I’m so, so sorry, my love. Please forgive me.”

Lee cried even harder, if that were possible. “Please don’t apologize, flower, there is nothing you could have done. You did so well, look at our beautiful son. You did this! You are so strong. I love you so much, my flower, please, do not cry, I--”

Lee choked, unable to speak any longer. 

“Lee, I want you to listen to me. Look at me,” Kotone commanded, her voice the strongest it had been all day. “Please don’t stay alone. Please, Lee. I know you won’t forget me, but please try to move on if you find someone. I give you my blessing, okay? Please. I can’t bear the thought of you or our baby being alone.”

Lee squeezed his eyes shut, forcing out more tears. If he agreed to what she was asking, he would be admitting that it was over, that she was dying and that he wouldn’t have her anymore. He couldn’t do that. With trembling lips, he strained his neck, kissing the edge of her mouth.

“I love you so much, Kotone.”

She smiled, tears rolling down her face. “I love you, too, Lee.” She reached weakly for the baby and Lee obliged, gently placing him in her arms. “I love you, too, my little harp. Please take care of your papa, okay?” The baby stirred slightly as she pulled him up her chest to kiss him. 

Her eyes fluttered shut and her already shallow breathing stopped. 

Lee wailed, his heart shattering into millions of pieces as the woman he had loved so tenderly passed away. Doctors came running down the hall, throwing open the door and rushing to the bed. One reached down to pick up their baby, allowing Lee to grieve the loss of his wife, but he refused. 

“NO!” he yelled, stirring the baby from his slumber. “This is the only time he has to spend with his mother. Leave, NOW!”

The doctors scattered, leaving the mourning husband to hold his wife’s body close to him as the baby cried.

“Sh, sh, my little Metal, it is going to be just fine,” he said through his tears. They had decided on a name long before he had been born, but only now did Lee use it properly. Kotone’s body began to grow cold, now that her heart was no longer pumping warm blood through it. Hours later, Lee distantly heard a knock at the door. Someone walked in, not waiting for Lee’s response, not that he could give one. 

“Lee? We need to take her body now. I’m so sorry. Come on, let’s get you and the baby in a different room, okay? It’s going to be fine.”

Lee blinked, his sore eyes stinging as he tore his stare off of his wife’s face. He looked up to where Sakura stood, her hospital clothes on and tears in her eyes. 

“I tried to convince them to give you more time, but we can’t wait much longer. Would you like me to take the baby?”

Lee sniffed and shook his head. He turned back to his wife, crying openly again. He kissed her cheek gently and whispered a goodbye. “I am sorry I could not do more,” he said, lying Metal gently next to her momentarily. He scooped him up, cradling him protectively against his chest, and stood from the bed. Sakura hugged him as best as she could with the child in his arms. She hooked an arm comfortingly through his, leading him down the hall to a new room, similar to the one Kotone was currently lying in. A bassinet sat in the corner, a small mobile above it. 

“Lee, you really need to rest, you’ve been up for hours. Let me take the baby, I’ll feed him then put him to bed, okay? You need to lie down.”

Lee shook his head, silent tears continuing to fall. “Sakura-san, I appreciate it, but I must refuse. I cannot--” Lee paused, breathing shakily. “I cannot let her down.”

Sakura looked at Lee, her face riddled with concern. “Lee, you won’t let her down. You need to stop thinking like that. She wants you to take care of yourself, and the baby. You can’t take care of him like this.”

Lee’s face screwed up, torn between what he felt was right and what Sakura was telling him. As he was trying to decide, the baby woke up and began to cry again.

“Lee, he’s hungry. Lay down. I promise I will bring him right back, okay? Please trust me.”

Lee nodded, handing him to Sakura. “We named him Metal.”

Sakura cooed at the baby in her arms. “Hello, Metal. You are handsome like your daddy, but your eyes are sharp and beautiful like your mother’s.” She kissed his forehead gently, then looked at Lee, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“Rest.”

He watched Sakura carry Metal out the door, his tired mind becoming numb as he tried to process everything that had happened. He shook from exhaustion, his knees buckling, causing him to sit on the bed behind him. He laid down on the stiff hospital sheets and curled into a ball. Dry sobs came out of his mouth as he shook, his eyes no longer able to produce moisture. After what felt like hours of painful consciousness, Lee fell into a deep sleep. 

He awoke to the sound of hushed whispers, unaware of how long he had slept. It only took him a few seconds to remember everything that was going on. His grief came crashing down on him all at once as he thought of Kotone. He didn’t think he could bear it. Not wanting the whisperers to know that he was awake, he held in his sobs, his body shaking in torment. But, he didn’t do a good enough job.

“He’s awake,” someone said, briskly walking over to where Lee lay. He cracked his swollen eyes open, looking up at the whisperer who now stood over him. It was Gaara.

“Lee,” he said, his face screwed in pain. He reached a hand out to Lee, but withdrew it just as quickly.

“Gaara, why are you… what are you…” Lee was unable to articulate his thoughts, his head swimming in overwhelming pain. Somehow, his foggy brain was able to pull out a memory that had once brought him excitement. He had invited Gaara to see the baby, so he had scheduled his budget meeting in Konoha for Kotone’s due date.

Kotone…

“Gaara, Kotone, she--” 

“Sh, Lee, it’s okay. Sakura told me everything. Don’t push yourself.”

Lee rolled onto his back, his hands raking through his sweaty hair. “And, Metal, his mom, she--”

Lee sat upright, practically jumping out of the bed. “Where is Metal?! Where is my son?!”

Gaara sat on the bed quickly, gently placing his hands on Lee’s shoulders. “Lee, it’s alright, Sakura had to feed him again. She’ll be right back. Kotone’s body is being prepared for her funeral. I have come to help with the preparations.”

“Gaara, I-- I do not think I have the money for this.” Lee’s breathing quickened and he began to hyperventilate. He had so many things to worry about. He was earning more money now, but how could he afford a proper burial for his wife as well as the medical expenses for both her and Metal? How was he going to provide a proper life for their son? What was he--

“Lee, I have taken care of the expenses. It’s the least I could do. Everything has been paid for. We just wanted your input for the memorial. She deserves a proper shinobi burial.”

Lee blinked, staring at his friend. “I-- I do not understand. Gaara, why-- why would you pay for it all?! You have your own life to be concerned about, you should not be worried about me! I am the one who is supposed to be caring for my family, I--”

Gaara pulled Lee into a tight hug, temporarily silencing his racing thoughts. “Lee, you are my friend. One of the people closest to me. I have more money than I know what to do with. Let me help you. No more arguing. We will not discuss it further.”

Gaara held Lee until his breathing had calmed. Silent tears had fallen from Lee’s face, soaking Gaara’s shirt. Once Lee was breathing normally, Gaara sat back, looking at Lee carefully.

“Her body is being prepared right now. She looks beautiful, Lee. She’s at peace. We’re going to plan something worthy of her beauty. Tsunade?”

Lee looked past Gaara at the second whisperer in the room. Lady Tsunade stood behind, her face sad and tired. She stepped toward the bed, keeping her distance.

“We have prepared a memorial stone for her, Lee. An individual place for you to visit, as well as those who loved her. Is there anything you would like to do outside of the usual memorial?”

Lee drew a deep breath, attempting to collect his thoughts. There was a task at hand and Kotone deserved his full attention. He could grieve later. For now, he needed to draw upon every ounce of strength he could. He frowned in determination, looking up at the hokage.

“Tenten was learning how to play the harp. I believe she would have liked to hear her play. And her clan, they have their own memorial. Her name should be added to that stone as well, if it is not too much to ask.”

Tsunade shook her head. “It’s not, Lee. We’ll make it happen. I’ll talk to Shizune right now about having her name added to her clan’s stone. I will personally speak with Tenten about your wishes. I know that your friends are in mourning right now as well, but I think having you speak to them might be too overwhelming.” Tsunade bowed her head. “My condolences, Lee. She was an excellent kunoichi.”

Lee swallowed thickly and nodded. “She was.”

Tsunade excused herself from the room, leaving to see to any final preparations for Kotone’s burial. Gaara turned back to Lee, his usual business-like visage back in place.

“You need to eat and drink water. You are severely dehydrated.” Gaara pinched the skin on Lee’s hand gently, proving his statement as the skin took it’s time to smooth back into place. “I will be right back.”

“Wait, Gaara, you don’t--”

Gaara turned, fiercely staring at Lee. “I will take care of you. You shouldn’t do this alone, Lee.”

Before he could respond, Gaara walked out of the room. Sakura came in a few seconds later with Metal in her arms. 

“Jeez, what has the Kazekage all in a tizzy?” She rolled her eyes and walked up to Lee, gently bouncing the baby. Lee stared blankly at his lap.

“Sakura-san, how long have I been asleep?”

She turned her head to the side. “You slept for quite some time. I would say, about seventeen hours? Then we woke you up to drink some water. After that, you slept for another twelve. You were asleep when I brought Metal back. He is such a sweet baby. Would you like to hold him?”

Lee nodded blankly, reaching out his arms to take his son. He no longer had his wife, but he had Metal. He would keep him grounded. He held him gently, resting his small head into the crook of his strong arm. He gently placed his lips to Metal’s forehead, breathing in his scent.

“Thank you for taking care of him. I am sorry that I was… so distraught.”

“Lee, you have a very good reason to be upset. For as long as you need to. You have so many people that are willing to help out and take care of you and Metal. Even Gaara came rushing here as soon as he heard the news. We tried to tell him you were asleep, but he pushed past us. He sat in that chair for a good seven hours, only getting up once Lady Tsunade came in.”

Lee looked over at a chair that was pressed against the wall. Gaara had waited the entire time? Why? He was Lee’s friend, maybe even his best friend, but Lee didn’t consider himself important enough to be waited for like that. 

“Speaking of that, where did he go?” Sakura asked, pulling Lee out of his confused thoughts. Before Lee could answer, Gaara stepped back into the room carrying a plate of food and a bottle of water. He walked up to Lee, ignoring Sakura, and sat back onto the bed, holding the food and the water. He looked at the baby, his eyes softening, then looked back up to Lee.

“I’m sorry, Lee, but you need to eat.”

Lee held Metal closer to him, not wanting to part from his baby. He looked at Gaara’s concerned face, his stomach hurting from how long he had gone without food. He pressed his lips together and furrowed his brows.

“Gaara, would you like to hold my son?”

Gaara blinked at Lee, his eyes wide with surprise. “Hold him?”

Lee nodded. “Yes. But, not if it would make you uncomfortable. I just know that Sakura-san has been here for a while, I am sure she would like a break.”

Sakura began to walk forward. “It’s okay, Lee, I can hold--”

“No. I will hold him. Sakura, please go home. I will help Lee where I can, the other nurses will fill in where I lack. You have been here far longer than your shift was scheduled for, Tsunade told me. She asked me to send you home as soon as I was able. Thank you for your help.”

Sakura jumped back and frowned. After a few seconds of consideration, she bowed slightly. “Thank you, Kazekage-sama. I will be back soon. Goodbye, Lee. Try to get some rest, okay?”

Lee said goodbye to Sakura, noticing how Gaara stared down at the tiny baby in Lee’s arms. Keeping his eyes on Metal, he set the food down on the bed, holding his arms out. Lee smiled at him tiredly and handed Metal over. Gaara had held babies before and expertly tucked the child into his chest, sticking his finger out for him to hold. When he grabbed it, he looked up at Lee who had begun to hungrily eat the food Gaara had brought.

“He’s strong, just like you.” Looking back down at Metal, he said, “He has his mother’s eyes.”

Lee fought back tears and nodded. “Though I will no longer have her, I will have her son in memory of her.” He opened the bottle of water Gaara had brought and drained it in seconds. “Thank you for your help, Gaara. I do not know how I will ever repay you.”

“Repayment isn’t necessary, Lee. I care for you. We have a bond. This is what you do when you have a bond with someone.” He rocked Metal gently, looking up to smile at Lee. Lee averted his gaze back to the food in front of him. He felt guilty and didn’t want Gaara to see that in his eyes. Gaara had always been very perceptive of Lee’s emotions, not that he had ever hid them well. He finished his food, silently indicating to Gaara that he wanted Metal back. Gaara obliged, his arms growing cold in the absence of the warm infant. He stood from Lee’s bed, looking between the door and the chair he had sat in for so long.

“You can stay if you want,” Lee said, blinking his eyes sleepily. “I will probably not be here for much longer. Do you know when the... funeral is?” Funeral. Saying the word made Lee’s heartbreak all over again. 

“Tomorrow. You have all of today to rest. I believe the doctors were going to help you back home this afternoon, but I will be doing so instead.”

“Thank you, Gaara. For everything. Just-- thank you.” 

Gaara nodded, sitting back into the chair he had occupied while Lee slept. Lee stared at him for a few moments, until he was no longer able to keep his eyes open. He closed them, the pounding in his head becoming more prominent as he fell back asleep with his son in his arms. 

The following day was warm and sunny, perfect weather for remembering someone who had so greatly brightened Lee’s life. He dressed himself in his black mourning clothes, wrapping his small son in a black shawl. His curtains were drawn, Gaara having helped Lee properly prepare his house for mourning. Lee hadn’t been able to sleep that night. The spot next to him was devoid of the woman he had loved so deeply. And this time, she wouldn’t be coming back. 

The funeral was beautiful. Gai stood at Lee’s side as Tsunade spoke of Kotone’s bravery and what a wonderful kunoichi she was. Tenten held his hand as her name was carved into the stone belonging to her clan. Silent tears rolled down Tenten’s face as she played a simple, yet somber, harp melody, one that she knew Kotone loved. Lee would always protest when she was teaching Tenten to play it. It made him so sad. But now, it brought him feelings of peace. Kotone had been loved. She had been remembered. She hadn’t died with her clan. Some aspects of her life were lonely, but she had been able to fill it with people who loved her, creating a clan of her own. She wanted to continue her clan’s legacy through her son. Now she wasn’t there to do it. 

Once the memorial was over, one by one each person brought a small daisy up to Kotone’s grave, placing it at the base. Some would say a few words, others simply kissed the flower and set it down. Gaara walked up, whispering a few words that Lee couldn’t hear. He used his sand to gently rest the daisy near the others. Lee was the last to walk up, two daisies in his hand. One for him, and one for the son Kotone had left behind.

“My sweet flower. I love you. I will miss you. Thank you for the wonderful time we had together. Please watch over our precious Metal. I will continue on in your memory.” He kissed the daisies, bending to place them over his wife’s grave. He stood slowly, looking between the grave and his son. He began to cry, pressing his face into the baby’s blanket. 

He stood for hours, unwilling to break their family apart by leaving Kotone’s grave. How was he going to move on? Every aspect of Konoha reminded him of her. Every corner would bring fresh memories and inflict pain. He didn’t know what to do. Finally, night began to fall, and Tenten walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Lee, it’s time to go home. I’m going to stay the night with you. Metal is going to get sick if he stays out here any longer.” She choked on a sob. “I’m so sorry, Lee. She loved you. Every time we were together, she would talk about you. She thought you were so beautiful. You were her entire world.”

Lee turned to Tenten. He didn’t cry. He just nodded and began walking in the direction of his house.

After placing the baby in the crib he had built before Metal was born, he walked into the living room where Tenten was placing a blanket on the couch.

“Tenten, you can sleep on my bed. I… I am not sure that I will be able to sleep there again.”

Tenten stood, shaking her head. “No, Lee. You’re exhausted. You need to get some rest.”

“How can I, Tenten? How would I be able to sleep in the same spot my wife used to lay? Her pillow still smells like her shampoo. I cannot bear it.”

Tenten pressed her lips into a firm line, her cheeks red and irritated from crying. She grabbed Lee’s hand gently, pulling him over to the couch. She laid him down opposite of her, their legs pressing together as they shared the space. Lee began to hum the melody Tenten had played earlier, soothing both of them to sleep. Lee slept better next to Tenten. They were as close as a brother and sister would be. She helped him feel safe. Though it wasn’t the same, she helped partially fill the hole missing in Lee’s life where Kotone used to be.

The rest of the week passed similarly for Lee. Tenten stayed the first few nights, but eventually had to leave for a mission. Lee was alone once again. He tried to keep up his training regimen as best as he could, but he couldn’t leave Metal, and the training grounds were too dangerous for the newborn. He tried to take him on a walk, but he was plagued with memories of his deceased wife, unable to look at any corner of Konoha without sobbing.

Gaara had given Lee his space after the funeral. He had been in and out of meetings, occasionally sending one of his assistants with food and other needed items. He only saw Lee again when he came to say goodbye.

Gaara stood in Lee’s living room, bouncing Metal gently in his arms.

“Gaara. Last time you were here, you said that Suna’s gates would be open to me and my family for any reason.” He paused, looking at Gaara. “Is that still true?”

Gaara furrowed his brow. “Of course, Lee. That would never change. Why?”

Lee swallowed thickly. “I-- I cannot bear to be in Konoha anymore,” he admitted, breaking down and crying once more. How his body was still able to produce tears, he wasn’t sure. “Is there a place for me in Suna? Is there something I could do? I need to support my son. But I do not know that I could do it here, at least not for awhile. My heart is hurting, Gaara. It hurts so bad.”

Gaara stepped forward, using one hand to gently pull Lee’s head onto his shoulder. Lee collapsed in on him, sobbing on his shoulder as he had done in the hospital.

“I will figure something out, okay, Lee? We’ll find a place for you there for as long as you need. I’m sorry I can’t do more. Give me a few weeks to make preparations. We will get you away from here for a bit to allow you to heal.”

“Thank you, Gaara. I am sorry to have been a burden.”

Gaara pulled Lee’s head off to stare at him. “Lee, I will have no more talk about you being a burden. You never have been and you never will be. I will take care of you as best as I can. No questions asked. Understood?”

Lee looked into Gaara’s stern expression, the water on his lashes obscuring his vision slightly. He pressed his lips together and nodded.

“I need to go. You will hear from me soon. Please take care of yourself, Lee.”

“Thank you, Gaara. You do the same.”

After a brief embrace, the Kazekage was out the door, his anbu following him as he left Lee’s house. Lee felt his heart lightening ever so slightly. The chance to leave Konoha would allow him to complete his mourning somewhere he wasn’t constantly plagued with memories of his wife and what they were planning to do with their future. Suna’s burning sun would help clear his mind a little, allow him to sort through his grief so he could one day return to Konoha to raise Metal in his mother’s village. But for now, his friends were right. He needed to take care of himself so he could be better for Metal. 

He waited weeks for the Kazekage’s request, bothering Tsunade almost daily. When he was given no new information, he would hole himself up in his house, doing as much training in their small living room as he could. Every night he would take Metal on a short walk, not wanting the baby to be too confined to the indoors, but also not wanting to make him sick since he was still young. He was fed, changed, sung to, and loved. Lee was an amazing father, and did all he could to replace the gaping hole left by Kotone’s death. Metal may not have a mother, but Lee would do his best to give him everything else.

Months passed without a letter from Gaara. Lee had lost hope that he would ever reply. Tsunade, seeing how eager he was to get out of Konoha, offered to dispatch him to Iwa, a diplomatic mission that would relocate both him and Metal for five years. He would be back home in time for Metal to start at the academy if he wished to become a ninja. No longer able to wait, Lee reluctantly agreed. 

He walked away from the Hokage tower with his small son strapped securely to his chest. His heart sunk with each step. The thought of Suna had made him so hopeful. And now that hope had been taken from him. As he neared his house, a shadow flashed over his face. Hearing a distant cawing, he looked up to see a carrier bird circling him. He squinted his eyes and recognized it as Gaara’s. He placed his hands over Metal and began to run. 

Once on his porch step, the bird landed, hopping toward him and gesturing to the small scroll tied expertly to his leg. He took it off gently, stroking the bird’s head. He unfurled it and his eyes quickly rolled over the Kazekage’s tight hand writing.

“Lee,

I apologize that this letter has taken so long to get to you. We needed some time to convince the council of our plan and prove its usefulness.  
We would like to formally invite you to be head instructor of taijutsu at Suna’s academy. Our shinobi lack in advanced skill in this area which has caused problems with our teams. You will work with classes of students as well as train our current taijutsu teachers in proper teaching and training. Tsunade will be receiving the request to have you come around the same time you will receive this one. 

Please reply swiftly so we can begin planning your move. We expect to see you in Suna at the end of next week. You may use my personal bird to send back your response.

I have missed you, Lee. I apologize for my silence. I hope you are doing well, and I look forward to seeing you in Suna.

Regards,

Gaara

The official Kazekage stamp had been placed in the blank spot next to Gaara’s name. After scanning it again, Lee ran inside, the bird perched on his arm. 

He scribbled out a quick response, confirming he had received the letter and that he would be traveling to Suna within the next week. He reminded Gaara that it would be somewhat of a slower process, seeing as he had an infant with him. Once he had sent the letter away with the bird, he ran back to Tsunade’s office, requesting that he cancel his plans to move to Iwa. He was needed in Suna.

The next week was a flurry of activity for Lee, and for the first time in months, he felt like he was accomplishing something productive. Metal was growing quickly, now rolling onto his stomach to smile at his dad as he moved around the room, packing what little he could bring with them to Suna. He cleaned the house out, preparing it for Tenten. She had offered to care for it while Lee was away, seeing as her apartment was so small. She had slowly started to heal as well and was now able to visit Lee and the baby without crying every time she walked into the house. 

In the past months, Lee had visited Kotone’s grave every day. On the last day he was to be in Konoha, he visited her one more time, not knowing when he would be able to see her again. Tenten had moved in earlier that day and had offered to watch Metal while he said goodbye.

He walked up to her gravestone silently, a small bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. He knelt in front of it, offering a short and silent prayer. He placed the flowers down, moving his hand to gently brush off a leaf that had found its way to the top of the smooth stone. He looked up at the dark clouds as heavy drops began to fall on his shoulders. 

“Kotone, my flower. After today I will be living in Suna. I know that I am abandoning you, and I know some may think that I am running away. But, I cannot heal while I am still here.” He paused, his throat closing with emotion. “I am so sorry. I will be sure to return on our anniversary. Thank you for everything. I love you so much.” He leaned forward, kissing the stone gently. “Please watch over us as we travel.”

He spent a few more moments there, the rain soaking his hair and wetting his cheeks where tears now refused to fall. He kissed her stone one more time, rose, and left. 

Two days later he found himself running through the hot desert that lead up to Suna, his lungs burning with the dry air. Metal was wrapped tightly to his chest in a light colored cloth, his head shielded from the sun’s unforgiving rays. He had been crying for the past hour and Lee was panicking, worried that he would further dehydrate himself. He was still so young and Lee now found his child in a potentially life threatening situation.

As Suna came up over the horizon, Lee ripped open a gate, soon opening two more. He pushed himself to the edge of the village, doing all he could to get his son to a cooler area as soon as possible. Gaara was standing on the outside of the gates, running to him as he collapsed. Within seconds, the three of them were encapsulated in sand, stumbling into the cool space that Lee soon recognized as Gaara’s bedroom. 

Gaara expertly untied the knots holding the baby to Lee’s chest. The fabric was damp with sweat, sand clinging to it and lightly scratching the babies face. Gaara pulled him away from Lee, gently laying him down on the bed as the infant continued to cry. He stripped him of his clothes, instructing Lee to wet a washcloth so they could cool Metal down. Lee having been in Gaara’s residence only once before when he and his team had visited, called upon his shinobi memory. Once he had located a washcloth in Gaara’s bathroom, he soaked it in cold water, rushing back to his room. Gaara took the cloth out of his hand, gently wiping the baby’s face.

“Lee, lay down. You look terrible.”

Lee grimaced. He knew Gaara was right. He had caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror when he was grabbing the washcloth. His lips were cracked and bleeding, his face red from both the heat and from opening the gates. He obliged, kneeling down on the ground to rest.

“On the bed, Lee,” Gaara said somewhat exasperatedly, continuing to cool Metals’ flushed skin. The baby had calmed, his tiny eyes fluttering as he started to fall asleep. Gaara began clucking his tongue, attempting to keep him awake. Startled at the noise, Lee began gently laughing.

“What?” Gaara said, snapping his head over to where Lee lay.

“It just sounds so funny. I never imagined I would hear you making noises like that.”

The washcloth fell on Lee’s face with a plop. He laughed, using it to gently wipe his sunburned face. 

“I need him to stay awake. He needs fluids. Do you have a bottle with you?”

Lee nodded, weakly pointing to his pack. Gaara began rummaging through it, pulling a bottle out. He left the room, filling the bottle with water. He stepped back into the room, carefully scooping the formula Lee had brought into it. Once he had screwed the lid on, he shook it, scooping the baby in his arms. He sat on the bed gently and began to feed him.

Lee stared at Gaara intently, his vision blurring slightly at the edges. “Where did you learn to do that?”

Gaara paused. “I took a class.”

“Why?”

He sighed. “I told you, Lee. I want to help as much as I can. I needed to learn how to properly care for a child if I were to be of any use to you.”

Lee laid his head back and said nothing. After a few more moments, his exhausted body fell asleep. 

It took a full week of rest for Lee to recover from the damage the gates did to his body. He had little energy, only able to get up and take care of Metal. Gaara had sent people to help Lee move into his small Suna apartment, supplying everything he needed to care for his child, and then some. 

Metal laid next to Lee on their bed, shaking a small stuffed turtle around as he blew raspberries with his lips. Lee smiled, glad to know that his baby was developing well in spite of all that had gone on. Soon he would begin teaching taijutsu at the academy, meaning he would need to leave Metal with the nurses at the hospital. They had started a child care program for shinobi, allowing parents to have a family, but continue to work and go on missions. It also made things easier when the unfortunate circumstance of death left the children orphaned. From there they would transition into the foster system that Suna had created.

Luckily for Lee, this wasn’t a concern. He was sure that eventually he would miss the thrill of dangerous missions, but knowing he needed to be here for his son helped him feel content with the calm, safe life of a teacher. The first few weeks would be hard. He knew he would miss his son and the eyes that reminded him of Metal’s mother. But, he was excited to help train Suna’s shinobi in the youthful art of taijutsu.

As soon as his body was healed, he began working in the academy. The other teachers were wary of him, unsure of whether they could trust a leaf ninja to properly teach a sand shinobi. But, the Kazekage trusted and respected him and he quickly earned the adoration of the students. 

A month into teaching, Gaara stopped by Lee’s class to make sure all was going well. Lee stood in the middle of the courtyard, his knees on the ground and his hands up. A small girl was practicing her punches, hitting Lee’s hand with a ferocity similar to his. It seemed he was rubbing off on them.

Lee, noticing that Gaara was there, stood up, brushing the dust off of his jumpsuit. “Everyone, the Kazekage is here! Please show your respect.” He bowed, the young shinobi following suit.

“Hello, children,” Gaara said, bowing slightly in response. “Lee, may I see you for a moment?”

“Of course, Ga- Kazekage-sama! Students, please practice your kicks on the wooden posts across the courtyard. I will not be long!”

Lee ran over to where Gaara stood, smiling at his friend. Gaara looked around, making sure they were alone, before pulling Lee into a brief hug. 

“How are you?” 

“I am alright! I have really enjoyed teaching so far. I really miss Metal, but it has been nice to move my body in a productive way again! How are you?”

“I’m doing fine,” Gaara said, absentmindedly brushing dust off of Lee’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit you much.”

Lee smiled widely at Gaara, sticking out a reassuring thumb. “It is quite alright! I do enjoy your company, but I know how busy you are! Thank you again for your hospitality and for all of the supplies you provided for us. Metal is particularly fond of the small turtle your assistants gave him.

Gaara smiled. “I’m glad. I picked that one out myself.”

Lee blushed lightly. “O-Oh! Well, thank you very much. You will have to join us for dinner sometime soon so that Metal can thank you personally.”

Gaara nodded. “I would like that.”

Lee looked up, his hair swishing gently to the side. “Let me see… are you available tomorrow evening?”

Gaara nodded, turning slightly. “I am. I will see you then, Lee. I have to go now. Please continue with your lesson. I trust that all is going well.”

“I-It is!” Lee called as Gaara walked away. “Thank you, Gaara!”

He turned and ran back to the class, shouting encouraging words as they kicked at the logs. He flitted between each student, offering pointers, correcting form, and praising their strength. He missed Kotone and thought of her often, but being with the students had allowed him to form a new kind of bond, one that helped to soothe his aching heart.

The next day, Lee dismissed his students and rushed to the hospital. He was excited to have dinner with Gaara and catch up with his friend. Though they usually went months without seeing each other, Gaara’s company was almost addicting. He and Lee were so different, yet they both had a mutual understanding of each other. They were able to completely relax, shedding the facade as deadly shinobis that they constantly had to hold when they were in public. Gaara was no longer the Kazekage. Lee was no longer a widower. They were just two friends.

Lee walked quickly in through the doors of the cool building, stopping at the door that indicated the children’s room. He stepped in quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace. 

“Hello, Lee. Metal had a good day today! He napped and everything!” a nurse said, walking up to him with the baby in her arms.

“Wow, really? That is so surprising! Normally he has too much energy to sleep during the day.” He grabbed his son from the nurse, placing a multitude of kisses on his soft, baby cheeks. Metal responded by laughing and fisting his hands in Lee’s hair.

“I was shocked, too! The Kazekage had stopped to visit with the children and asked to hold him. He sat in a chair for a bit while he talked to the other kids. Not even ten minutes later, he was out like a light!”

Lee paused, furrowing his brows. Gaara had been there? And he had been able to get Metal to sleep? Normally it took Lee at least an hour to get him to settle down enough to go to bed at night, even if he was exhausted. Yet Gaara had managed to accomplish it in a fraction of that time. Lee made a mental note to ask Gaara what his secret was when he came over for dinner. After thanking the nurses profusely, as he did each day, Lee started to head home, this time with his most precious person held securely in his arms. 

Not long after, Lee listened to Metal babble in his high chair while he began to cook dinner. He hummed lightly, tossing the root vegetables then setting them down to spoon a few bites of baby food into Metal’s mouth. He was now old enough to eat some solid food and enjoyed trying lots of different flavors. Lee was looking forward to the day when he could introduce him to curry. But for now, various mashed vegetables and fruits would have to do.

A light knock sounded at the door, signaling that Gaara had arrived. Lee grinned, wiping Metal’s mouth and pulling him out of his high chair. He pulled open the door to see Gaara standing on his porch, his kage robes nowhere in sight. It was nice to see Gaara like this, dressed casually with a small gourd attached to his waist. Metal squealed in delight, flinging himself toward Gaara who had quickly become his second favorite person. He laughed lightly, holding the chunky baby in his arms. Metal shoved his face into Gaara’s neck, nosing into the place that held the most warmth, before sighing in content. Lee’s heart tightened at the sight. Overwhelmed, he pulled Gaara into a hug, slightly squishing his baby in the process.

“Hi, Lee,” Gaara said, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Hello, Gaara! Thank you so much for joining us this evening.” Lee released him and stepped to the side, allowing Gaara into his apartment.

“Thank you for having me. Can I help with dinner?”

“Absolutely not, though I do appreciate the offer! Here, let me put Metal back in his high chair so that you can relax!”

“That’s okay. I enjoy holding him.”

Gaara sat down at their table, gently rubbing Metal’s back as he chewed on his fingers. The baby used his free hand to poke at the dark stains around Gaara’s eyes.

“I… heard you went to the hospital today to visit the kids,” Lee said, his back turned to Gaara as he continued to cook. “Do you do that often?”

“I try to when I can. There are still some fears surrounding my position as the Kazekage. I do my best to make my presence and good will known.”

Lee nodded. “That makes sense. You are a very good leader. Suna is lucky to have you.”

They fell back into a comfortable silence, the sound of the sizzling vegetables and Metal’s light breathing filling the air. Once the food was done, Lee placed it in front of Gaara, grabbing Metal from his arms to set him back in the high chair. They ate together, casually talking about their day and laughing as the baby tried to grab for their plates. Once he started yawning, Lee began to clean up so he could prepare him for bed. 

“You can stay longer if you wish,” Lee said, picking up his sleepy son and holding him against his chest. “I just need to put Metal to bed.”

Gaara paused. “I can help you.”

“Oh, no, you have had such a long day, I—“

Gaara interrupted Lee by grabbing Metal and taking him down the hall to Lee’s bedroom. Lee stood, slightly shocked, then followed. When he walked in he saw Gaara changing Metal’s clothes into his warm, green onesie. Though the days were unforgivingly hot, the nights tended to be cooler. Metal needed extra warmth when he slept. 

Once the baby had been changed and was ready for bed, Gaara swaddled him in a thin blanket, tucking him close to his chest as he rocked gently where he sat on the bed. Lee sat next to him, staring at his son who fell asleep almost instantly in his friend’s arms. 

“I am not sure how you do it,” Lee whispered. “It takes me forever to get him to sleep. You are a miracle worker, Gaara.”

Gaara said nothing in response, but Lee knew he had heard it from the small, satisfied smile he had on his face. Lee enjoyed the peaceful scene for a moment, then cleared his throat.

“Gaara?”

“Hm?”

“I wanted to ask you something. My… anniversary is coming up soon. It will be during the academy’s break. Would it be alright with you if I went back to Konoha to visit Kotone and my friends? I would be back in time for classes to start again. Of course, if you prefer I stay, I will.”

Gaara gently brushed Metal’s hair back, earning him a smile from the sleeping baby. “Of course, Lee. You don’t have to ask. I will accompany you. I have been wanting to check on the borders where Suna meets Konoha anyway.”

“Oh, you do not have to do that, I am sure you would enjoy a break from us,” Lee said, laughing gently. Gaara looked over at him and frowned.

“Why would I enjoy that?”

Lee cleared his throat. “Right. Sorry. That would be nice. Thank you, Gaara.”

“No need to thank me.”

A few months later, Metal had begun crawling and Lee was preparing for his trip back to Konoha. Gaara had grown closer to the both of them, visiting for dinner almost weekly. Lee had slowly begun healing, and found himself dangerously teetering back toward the feelings he had for Gaara. Everytime his thoughts strayed that way, he squashed them down aggressively, sometimes even going as far as slapping himself in the face. He couldn’t help but feel that he was betraying the love of his life, even though she had asked him to move on. But would moving on so quickly ruin the love that Lee once held for her? And he worried about Gaara’s feelings. What if he no longer felt the same way? What if he felt like he was only second best?

Not wanting to complicate his already tumultuous mind, Lee ignored all feelings he had for Gaara. Every light touch was avoided, every loving look was ignored, and the image of Gaara holding Metal so sweetly was brushed out of Lee’s mind in favor of rigorous training sessions. It was too soon for him to move on. 

Which is exactly what he told Kotone when he visited her grave. Gaara had left Konoha a day ahead of Lee so he could inspect the borders with his anbu. Lee spent time with Tenten and made sure that Gai, who had assumed the position of grandpa, had been able to have as much time with Metal as possible. He also made the time to visit Neji’s grave, talking with his friend and showing him how big Metal had gotten. Before it was time for him to leave for Suna once again, he brought a handful of daisies to visit his wife.

“Hello, my flower. I apologize I have not been to visit in awhile. I-- I miss you,” Lee said, his voice wobbling slightly. He didn’t want to cry. He had spent plenty of time crying and mourning. He wanted to be happy to visit her, not focus on the loss. He knelt in front of the grave, gently setting Metal down in front of it. Metal made his way over to his mother’s stone, placing a small, chubby hand on the smooth rock.

“Look at how big our son has gotten! He has been growing well. His hair gets longer every day.” Lee watched the baby pick at the grass as he furrowed his brows. “I had something that I wanted to talk with you about. I know you said before you… passed that you wanted me to move on. And I think I am starting to. But, I need to hold on to you a little bit longer. And if I do eventually find someone else, I hope that I still have your blessing. I want to rely on what you said before, but I worry that you may have changed your mind.” Lee laughed lightly. A cool breeze blew through the still air of the graveyard bringing comfort with it. 

Lee sat and talked with Kotone for hours, telling her all about life in Suna. He told her about his students, about the bar that played harp music just like hers once a week, and how well Metal had been adjusting. Once the sun was high over his head, it was time for him to begin his journey back to Suna. He would meet up with Gaara at the borders and they would finish their journey together. Lee couldn’t help but feel that he needed to talk to Gaara about his feelings. He didn’t know if he would ever be ready to move on, but he felt that he should clear things up with Gaara. He was his best friend now. He didn’t want to keep secrets from him.

Lee cried as he left his friends and wife. He loved his life in Suna, but there were parts of him that longed for Konoha. As he ran, he debated on what to tell Gaara. He wasn’t sure exactly how to convey his conflicted feelings to him, but he knew he had to try.

As he reached the border of Suna and Konoha, he saw Gaara sitting on the ground with his back to him. He felt a familiar tug at his heart, one he experienced each time he saw his friend when he was younger. He was almost surprised to see that his feelings hadn’t really changed. But he knew that when he loved someone, he loved them so completely that the love could never leave him. He still had a soft spot for Sakura, though it was different to how he felt about Kotone and Gaara. 

“Did everything go alright?” Lee called once he had gotten close enough to Gaara. He stood and looked over at the two boys, his eyes tired.

“As well as it could have. Everything seems to be secure for the most part. I… missed you, Lee. I know it wasn’t long, but I have grown used to your company.”

Lee smiled sadly. “I missed you, too, Gaara. In fact there is… something I would like to talk to you about.”

Gaara furrowed his brow, his eyes flashing down to the baby who was asleep against Lee’s chest. “What is it?”

Lee’s lip wobbled as he spoke. “Gaara, I-- I think I am still in love with you.” He began to cry silently, tears flowing down his face. Gaara’s expression matched the one he had years ago when Lee admitted that he had feelings for him when they were younger. One of confusion and heartbreak. Though this time, it held a slight glimmer of hope.

“What do you mean?” he asked harshly. Lee winced slightly, causing Gaara to shake his head, breathing deep. “I’m sorry, I just… what do you mean you’re still in love with me?”

“My feelings for you when we were younger went far past just that. I was in love with you, and I believe I have fallen back in love with you. I do not know what this means for us, nor do I expect you to feel the same way. I just did not want our lives to pass without me admitting this to you. Kotone told me to find someone to spend my life with when she-- when she died, but I am not sure that I am ready to replace her yet.” 

Lee crumpled to the forest floor, the leaves overhead shading his face as he cried. Gaara stood for a moment, then quickly made his way to where Lee sat. “Lee, I’m not trying to replace Kotone. I would never do that to you. All I want to do is show you how much I love you, whether it’s received as platonic or romantic. And I’ll wait for as long as you want me to. If you decide you don’t want me, that’s fine. I’ll still be here for you. No matter what. Both you and Metal. I want to repay you for your forgiveness and kindness in any way that I can.”

Lee sniffed, wiping his face on his sleeve. Gaara held out an arm to him, pulling him into a hug as he stood. After a few minutes, Metal woke up, squeaking slightly as he yawned. They laughed gently as Lee gave the baby a gentle kiss on the head. He looked at Gaara who stood so close. He looked at his lips, wanting to lean in and--

Gaara stood back, turning to the direction of Suna. “Please let me know if you would like me to carry Metal at any point. I’m more than happy to do so. He does like me quite a bit.” He looked back at Lee, smirking slightly. They began to run toward Suna, traveling through the night to avoid Metal overheating again.

Years passed and Lee and Metal stayed in Suna. Each year near his anniversary, he would travel back to Konoha, catching up with those he loved and paying his respects to Kotone and Neji. Each time Gaara would go with him, making excuses such as meetings or personal leave. Lee knew it was a huge disruption to his duties as the Kazekage, but he was grateful. Some years were harder than others, especially when Metal had started to talk. They visited her grave and Metal walked up, patting the stone as he always did and saying “mama” over and over again. Lee had broken down, only to be found by Gaara hours later, curled up next to the stone with his son held tightly in his arms. Gaara had taken Metal from Lee, allowing him to grieve in peace. Once he had collected himself, he found Gaara and gave him a long, tight hug. It spoke volumes to both of them, words that Lee wasn’t ready to say. But Gaara heard them and waited.

By the time Metal had turned five and was about to start at the academy, Gaara had a son of his own. He had found the small child, Shinki, at the corner of the village, unable to contain his rage and in turn, his deadly iron sand jutsu. Gaara had reached out with the same compassion he had shown Lee and Metal and was able to form yet another bond, this time with someone who was a lot like him when he was younger. Through patience and love, Gaara was able to whittle away at Shinki’s tough exterior, exposing the calm, albeit anxious, child he really was. 

The first time Shinki met Lee and Metal was at Gaara and Lee’s weekly dinner.

“Why do you wear leg warmers on your legs when it’s so hot outside?” Shinki had asked, though it sounded more like a statement.

“It’s to cover my training weights!” Metal replied, bending down to show Shinki the small weights he had around his thin calves. Gaara seeing this, looked at Lee somewhat harshly. Lee just laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. The two boys looked at their dads, unsure of what they were silently communicating.

Lee crouched down, patting Shinki lightly on the shoulder.

“Hello, Shinki! My name is Lee, I am Gaara’s friend!”

Shinki paused, looking at Lee with shock and confusion on his face. “I did not know that father would be… friends with such a strange person.”

“Shinki,” Gaara said sharply. “Apologize. Now.”

“Oh, it is no problem, Gaara! Gai-sensei always said that the weird people are always the best ones!” Lee winked at Shinki, sticking a thumbs up out at him. Shinki didn’t respond, just continued looking at Lee like he had grown another head. 

Metal began tugging on Shinki’s arm. “C’mon, let’s go play!”

Shinki looked hesitantly at Gaara who nodded his head encouragingly. Shinki ran off with Metal, a light smile on his face. Gaara and Lee made dinner in Lee’s kitchen, talking and laughing together as they cooked. Once they had all eaten, the boys continued to play, eventually falling asleep with their tiny hands hooked together. Lee pulled Gaara into Metal’s room to show him how they had fallen asleep together, tears spilling over the edges of his eyes. Gaara looked down at Lee’s hand, then back up to his face, gripping it tightly in his own. Lee looked over at Gaara with longing in his face. 

“Can we talk?” he whispered.

Gaara nodded, pulling him back out to the living room. They sat down and Lee began to speak.

“Gaara, I am... lonely. You are my best friend. We are now both single dads. It no longer makes sense for us to be apart. I am unsure of how you feel, but…” he paused, looking at their hands clasped together on the couch. “I would like to try. To be with you. I know that I am still broken, and there will always be a part of me that is in love with Kotone, but,” he paused, placing his free hand over his chest. “I have quite a big heart and I believe there is room in there for both of you.”

Gaara looked at him solemnly, his lip trembling slightly. “Really? I don’t want you to rush into anything, Lee. Like I said, years ago, I am willing to wait as long as you need, even if that means never being with you.”

Lee closed his eyes, shaking his head. “I do not think I could stay away from you forever. I love you, Gaara. Thank you for everything.”

Gaara reached his hand up, gently wiping away a stray tear from Lee’s face. He rested his hand on his cheek, his eyes searching Lee’s face for any sign that he was still hurting too much to love him. Not finding it there, he leaned in hesitantly, waiting for Lee’s lips to meet his.

And they did. And they would. Over and over again as they found themselves rekindling a love they held for each other when they were younger. 

They were married not long after that. They reasoned that they had practically been dating the entire time Lee was in Suna, and they were ready to raise their family together. Metal was overjoyed that his two favorite people were going to become his parents together. Shinki was hesitant, but secretly excited that Lee would be his new dad. He had grown fond of the weird, taijutsu user. He had trained one on one with Lee, working on his close range battle skills and using it as a coping mechanism for his anger. Gaara had taught Metal how to better live with the anxiety he had found himself growing into as he got older. Both parents filled parts of their lives in ways they didn’t realize they had needed. They were a complete, loving family.

The next time Lee was in Konoha, he visited his wife’s grave, this time with Gaara by his side. They walked up to her memorial stone, hand in hand. Shinki and Metal would visit later. For now, Lee had introductions to take care of.

“Hello, flower,” Lee started, gripping his husband’s hand for support. “I missed you. I always miss you. Happy anniversary. I wanted you to meet my husband, Gaara. I know that both of you have met, and that you probably already knew we were together. But, I wanted to properly introduce him to you.

“Thank you, Kotone. For your blessing. For allowing me to find love after you. I could never replace the love I have for you. It will always be there. But, I am grateful that I was able to find a new love, one that is good for our son and who will support me through the difficulties of life.”

Gaara let go of Lee’s hand, walking up to the stone. Using his sand, he crafted a small harp, solidifying it and placing it at the foot of her grave. “Kotone, thank you for allowing us to find each other. It deeply pained me to lose Lee, but I was very glad to know that he had someone as wonderful as you by his side. I don’t regret what happened. I was able to know you, as well as Metal. I love him so much.” Gaara paused. “But, thank you for providing me with a family. I can assure you that you will be remembered.”

Gaara stepped back, reaching out to squeeze Lee’s hand, then stepping away from the stone. He continued down the path, allowing Lee some time alone. Lee talked with Kotone about his new life with Gaara, how he was so good for Metal and Shinki and how much he loved his little family. He told her about how he was now the taijutsu specialist for all of Suna, training some of the most elite shinobi. He talked to her about their wedding, how beautiful and simple it was and how much he cried. He told her about Tenten’s weapon shop and how well she was doing with the harp, and how Gai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei had finally given in and confessed their love to each other. He reminisced on their good times, remembering how much he had loved her and how lucky he was to have her. 

Once his tears had dried and he had kissed her stone, he walked back down the path to find Gaara. He found him sitting against a tree, a contemplative look on his face. At the sight of his husband, he stood, smiling. He walked over to Lee, wrapping his arms around his waist and tucking his head under his chin.

“What are you thinking about, love?”

Gaara hummed. “I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you. And how much I love you.”

Lee smiled, kissing Gaara on the head. They stood holding each other for a moment, appreciating the love they had found in each other. Lee’s feelings for both Kotone and Gaara got confusing and complicated sometimes, but Gaara always allowed him to work it out, never forcing him to forsake the love he had for his wife or expecting him to be done grieving. But, Lee’s heartache was dulled by the feeling of Gaara holding him at night. He was grateful for Gaara’s patience and love. He had waited for Lee for so long.

Once they arrived home with their sons, Gaara pulled Lee into their expansive hallway. He pulled a small picture frame out from behind his back, hanging it on the wall. It was a picture of Kotone and Lee on their wedding day. Lee’s face was much softer, more naive. Kotone was smiling brightly. Lee gasped, tearing up.

“Where did you get this?”

“I asked Tenten for it. Luckily, she had a copy made. I wanted Metal and Shinki to grow up knowing who Kotone was and what she looked like. I also wanted her to have a place in our house, with our family.”

Lee pulled Gaara into a hug, squeezing as much love into him as he could. “Thank you, Gaara. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Lee.”

They kissed gently in the hall as they listened to their boys playing upstairs. Gaara sighed, happy to finally have a family with Lee.

Lee had always thought that love was simple, pure, and sweet. He had forgotten that life wasn’t without it’s complications and that the things that made him happy could be taken at any moment. But with as much as life takes, it always gives back. Lee would always miss Kotone. But he was glad that he had a loving and understanding man by his side, one who cherished the memory of his wife while also creating new ones with Lee. Their love was an eventually, but Gaara was glad he had waited.

**Author's Note:**

> I broke my heart when Kotone died. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
